美國留學要申請到獎學金，首先要讓獎學金評審委員會的刮目相看，其次，才考慮托福、GRE等硬件條件。所以即使硬件條件不突出，但獎學金申請書得到評審委員會的青睞，那得到獎學金的幾率就會大增。我們用例子來說明，美國大學獎學金申請書應該如何寫。

　　Growing up in a modest village in China, I hardly ever had the chance to see many examples of modern technology; people who dig wells by hand to obtain drinking water and use ox-driven plows to cultivate their fields don’t have much use for televisio and personal computers. But when my father gave me an old radio to play with, I wanted nothing more than to take apart the contraption and see what i ide made such interesting sounds. Sitting on the floor with a confused grin, surrounded by wires and metal, I looked up at my father and asked where the noises were...(有刪節(jié))

　　合理地闡述了申請者學習電子工程的動機，學習動機是評審委員非?？粗械?。同時，讀了這段文字，會使讀者沉浸在對童年往事的美好回憶里，借此打動評審委員的心。

　　另外一篇修改過的文章開頭用詩一般的語言寫道(有刪節(jié))：

　　......I first read this paragraph from Madame Curie as a 14-year-old child, and I still remember how wonderful I felt. I remember thinking, "What esteemed men they were! How hard they worked!" As I grew older, this paragraph became a source of encouragement in the face of adversity. I begin to feel a magical blue light twinkling in my heart, kindling a love of science, and encouraging me to charge bravely into the unknown world.

　　結(jié)尾呼應了開頭，闡述了作者為什么要去美國讀書：

　　I never forgot my adolescent idol, Maria Curie. As I re-read the book, another pa age leaped out: "She was now 24-an age when some of her great contemporaries were to be on the brink of major discoveries... Maria took the train from Warsaw to Paris, the intellectual Mecca."

　　For me, the intellectual Mecca is the United States. ... I hope to continue my study and research, as detailed below. One day, I hope to find the pure esthetics of biology and reach its luminous summits.

　　我們可以想象地到，評審委員在讀了這位女士的申請文章以后，腦海里肯定能栩栩如生地浮現(xiàn)出一個好學上進、充滿遠大抱負的未來女科學家的形象，怎么會不拍案叫絕，全力幫助這個女士登上前往學術(shù)圣地美麗堅的飛機，成為第二個居里夫人呢?